29 August 2006

Kevin Federline Is a Great Actor

Kevin Federline is going to be on CSI. Surely, this sort of stunt casting will help the series gain some of the precious street cred they've been lacking, as producers have ignored my letters suggesting a fourth spin-off series, CSI:Jersey-- not to mention my other letters suggesting they add a second black guy. (Perhaps I should stop writing my letters in crayon.)

In any event, throwing Federlizzle into the CSI mix is a lot like adding a second black guy anyway, so maybe they took my advice, after all.

According to reports, Federline will play an arrogant teenager who harasses investigators Nick Stokes (George Eads) and Warrick Brown (Gary Dourdan) while they are working on a case."

I'm sure playing "arrogant" will prove a challenge worthy of K-Fed's delicate acting abilities. After all, he certainly proved his acting chops at the Teen Choice Awards last week, when I was totally convinced he was a successful black rap star. I mean, I'm no Harvey Globetrotter, but I was rubbing my eyes in disbelief over the apparent lack of melanin in my caucasian brethren's epidermis.

It's just a good thing he doesn't look a day over 16, instead of like a functionally retarded sexually potent wigger pushing 30. Yep, it's a good thing indeed.

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