07 July 2009


Two friends of mine directed me to a recently discovered atrocity, a website called Fancy Fast Food. Rather than dwell on what it may mean that more than zero people knew this was something that would be right up my alley-- what with my penchant for masochistic food porn (This Is Why You're Fat is my homepage, after all)-- I've decided to share the horror with those of you who end up reading this blog accidentally after it turns up in your Google search for photos of Oprah Winfrey's bush.* 

Basically, this website gives detailed instructions on how to makeover various fast food items to make them into "fancy" foods. Instead, what happens is no. Just, NO. The photo above is the result of a makeover of some White Castle shitty bullshit burgers into "Tapas de Castillo Blanco." Did I mention "no," yet?

I can't actually bring myself to get through all of the instructions, because once I read sentences like "Meanwhile, using a food processor, blend the french fries into a pulp with a little water. Do the same with the beef (no water necessary) until it’s ground and moldable. Hand-roll the ground beef into meatballs, then pan-fry them until they start to brown," I usually have to take a quick break to vomit for the rest of my fucking life. I didn't think it was possible to make White Castle food even more of a sickout puke party; but, I guess I stand corrected.

*True story. Hey, I'll take a "unique" user however I can get it.

1 comment:

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