31 May 2006

Aniston Brilliant Satirist, Not Horribly Tacky Bitch

At a recent press junket where she was promoting The Break Up, Jennifer Aniston had reporters breaking up-- in laughs, that is! When asked if she was interested in "global issues," she answered, "No. I'm not interested in any of that." Naturally, the crowd erupted over Aniston's truly amazing, off-the-cuff sarcastic reply.

She added, "I just like to focus on me and my tabloid career." This obvious dig on the Namibia-loving new parents Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie is, of course, in perfectly good taste-- especially since they just donated $300K to sick kids in Africa (or something), on top of all the other do-gooder shit they've been up to. Jen, on the other hand, went on Letterman, okay? So, put that in your orange and white UNICEF donation cardboard box and smoke it. Any douchebag can, like, you know, be against diphtheria or whatever, but Jennifer Aniston is in a movie, okay? And it's a romantic comedy. That shit takes talent, the likes of which we haven't seen since the glory days of Meg Ryan. Yep, Brad and Angelina certainly look like idiots now.

When one reporter followed up with "That's great, Ms. Aniston. But, no, seriously, what are you interested in? I mean, Angelina Jolie may be a crazy, heartless, homewrecking, walking id, but she distracts us from that by being hot and teaching AIDS orphans how to read. Or whatever. What exactly are your interests, aside from trying to make people feel sorry for you? Oh, and I guess also being frigid and bitter?"

Aniston faltered only for a moment before delivering her final zinger: "I have a lot of other interests. But, I don't need to tell you all my interests, but there's a lot."

NAILED IT! You go, Jen!

1 comment:

Jennifer Aniston Fan said...

nice post. im a big fan of Jennifer Aniston. she is a great actress and i hate when ppl constant say shes a bitch. i think shes awesome