30 May 2006

If You Thought "Reggaeton" Was the Worst Thing to Ever Happen to Reggae...

What could be more irritating than Paris Hilton's chronic infestation of crabs (pictured)? Listening to Paris Hilton's "music," which she has been threatening to release for over a year. "When I finally let go and did it, I realized it is what I am most talented at and what I love to do the most," says Paris. One would assume she's talking about competing in dick-sucking contests in that quotation. And, one would be right. However, in this instance, she's actually talking about her life-long love of singing.

[Heavy sigh. Massaging of temples. Exhale.]

Okay. Moving on.

It seems the first single is due out next month, and she's happy to say she'll be bastardizing music from a range of genres, "not just, like, you know, pop and stuff." Her first single, "Stars Are Blind," has a heavy reggae influence. No. Seriously.

Quoth Paris:
"I like all music. It's not like I only like pop or only rock. I want to have something for everybody." Up to this point, DP gangbangs and herpes have been her means of having "something for everybody," but I suppose even Paris gets tired of Eiffel Towers. Get ready to envy the deaf in Summer '06.

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