12 June 2006

I Refuse to Write About Shiloh

I'm really, really, really excited for Snakes on a Plane (a.k.a. Mutha Fuckin' Snakes on a Mutha Fuckin' Plane) to come out in August. Like, really excited. I mean, I can't really say that I have a tremendous amount of respect for Samuel L. Jackson's acting range, but his appearances in Coming to America, as well as recent episodes of The Boondocks, make it easier for me to overlook embarrassments like The Man and, more importantly, tip the scales back in his favor of being a "bad ass motherfucker," indeed. Plus, anyone who manages to get both Ghostwriter and Deep Blue Sea on the same resume will do pretty much anything for enough money, clearly.* And, even though-- or, perhaps, especially because-- the same can be said of a pre-op transsexual crack whore, I respect that.

But, I digress. The topic at hand is
MFSOAMFP, being released August 18th. Any of you who went to see X3 will probably have seen the trailer for MFSOAMFP, and will know, as I do, that if the teaser trailer is any indication of the flick itself, MFSOAMFP is destined to be the Greatest Movie Ever. I mean, the trailer has already taken the title of Greatest Trailer Ever, for me at least (apologies to the Blow trailer for losing the title), and I can't wait to take just enough whiskey shots to be perilously close to alcohol poisoning and smoke more bowls than Clinton (come on, you know he totally does), on the night of the 18th. I mean, they can't possibly expect people to see this movie sober, can they?

Some writer guy (is my ignorance showing?) wrote
a really funny post about MFSOAMFP on his Blogger Blogspot Blog nearly a year ago, when it was but a twinkle in New Line's eye. If you're too much of a lazy POS to read it, the best part is when he suggests using the phrase "snakes on a plane" interchangeably with mantras like "shit happens." An excerpt:

WIFE: "Honey you stepped in dog poop again. "
ME: "Snakes on a Plane..."

DOCTOR: "Your cholesterol is 290. Perhaps you want to mix in a walk once in a while."
ME: "Snakes on a Plane..."

WIFE: "Honey while you were on your cholesterol walk you stepped in dog poop again."

You get the picture.

Tee hee! I can't wait for the 18th!

*For the record, I am talking shit about the latter, not the former, by use of contrast in this line. I FUCKING LOVED Ghostwriter. And yes, I WILL fight you about it.

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