Puppy Perverts Gone Wild!

Some pervert was caught on tape shoving a puppy down his pants in an effort to screw steal the pooch. The dog was worth over a grand, so at least we know this guy has expensive tastes when it comes to his sexual deviance/attempts at theft.

The tape is mildly amusing to watch, you know, if you're into that kind of thing. Sickee.

But, the thing that weirds me out about the clip is how the pet shop owner keeps referring to the pilfered pup (look ma, I'm Gene Shallot now!), as "the baby" and "our baby." I mean, yes, okay fine. Puppies are, indeed, "baby dogs," so to speak. Still though, for the purposes of comedy, I remain a huge fan of wholly unfounded and unwarranted accusations against strangers.

So, I conclude that the shop owner guy is just creepy enough to make me fairly certain he's shoving a few "babies" down his own pants. Prove me wrong, children. Prove. Me. Wrong.