20 January 2006

2006, A.D.: Apocalypse, Wow!

Jennifer Aniston is not having a very good 2005-2006, and the photo at left really captures the "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!" attitude she must have at the moment.

In case the whole Brad-Pitt-leaving-you-for-Angelina-Jolie-only-to-make-yourself-even-more-pathetic-by-fake-dating-the-bloated-and-probably-gay-Vince-Vaughn thing wasn't bad enough, now "insiders" are saying Ange was taking fertility treatments to get pregnant, and it looks like she's actually knocked up with twins as a result. Between the possibility of there being not one, but two of the most freakishly perfect genetic combinations walking the earth by the end of this year, and the mysteriously shrinking TomKitten bump, we're pretty sure the end is near.

We're not too worried. They'll probably have Fruit Roll-ups and Ssips juice boxes. Maybe Dunkaroos. It won't be that bad. We're not entirely sure why we imagine armageddon as strikingly similar to the third grade. We just do.

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