12 December 2005

Angelina Jolie Continues Being Every Man's Dream

"[Angelina Jolie] is beautiful. Her mouth is amazing. I've never kissed anyone with a bigger mouth than Angelina. It's like two water beds - it's like this big kind of warm, mushy, beautiful thing."

This is a direct quotation from Jenny Shimizu, supposedly Angelina Jolie's lesbian lover of ten years. Jenny goes on to say that she doesn't see an end to her relationship with Angelina, and doesn't think there will be. Looks like it's an extremely Merry Christmas for Brad Pitt. Finally, Santa will be bringing him that threesome he's always wanted.

One has to wonder if Jennifer Aniston will try to up the ante in her fauxlationship with Vince Vaughn. We can already see the next cover of US Weekly: "Shocker! Friends tell of Jen and Vince's kinky sex romps! Jen gets freaky in the missionary position!"

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