14 December 2005

Someone Else Doesn't Like Tom Cruise

Author Patricia Cornwell thinks Tom Cruise is fucking batshit may be acting irresponsibly with his cavalier dismissal of psychiatry. She expressed her fears, saying:

"There's going to be some girl or boy who worships this megastar, who decides, 'I'm not going to take my anti-depressants because Tom Cruise said I don't need drugs.'"

It is not 1995. If there are still young boys and girls out there "worshiping" Tom Cruise, then maybe we're the ones taking crazy pills because, to us, that's a huge problem in and of itself. Indeed, if Tom Cruise has secretly had a devout following of tweeners all hopped up on vitamins, exercise and sandwiches whom he's been grooming into some sort of Jr. Scientologist Militia, we're all in big trouble. Kids that age are far too young to be jaded and cynical, and realize Tom Cruise is seriously fucking batshit is slightly eccentric. Could this fiendish plan have something to do with all the time TomKat has been spending at peewee soccer matches, of late? Could the TomKitten be their unborn Messiah? Oh, dear. The pieces are fitting! None of us can hope to be prepared enough to handle the INTENSITY! Save yourselves!

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