Like all good couples trapped in sham marriages, Nick and Jessica Simpson have finally decided to put all parties involved out of their misery. Sadly, they did not opt for the murder-suicide route. Rather, they released a statement Wednesday saying they had separated after three years of pretending to be happily married. Releasing their statement on Wednesday, after most people had already checked out for the holiday, must have been their publicists' way of acknowledging that the Nick and Jessica saga has become the Hollywood equivalent of The Boy Who Cried "Wolf," and that this announcement comes as a surprise to no one. Well, no one aside from the people who bought the DVDs of Newlyweds without any trace of irony, at least.
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