Ummm...You Might Want to Get That Checked Out...

Well, let's all give a hand to the clap, which is down to a record low, since they first started tracking the shit. Syphilis and chlamydia, however, are on the rise. They're attributing the increases largely to more people's participation in "high-risk sexual behavior," like gay sex, or the more politically correct term, "sex up-the-butt."

Since this the only example given, we're not sure what else they they could mean by "high-risk" sex. Would sex on a trapeze count? Or that bareback gangbang we organized and catered saw that one time? Well, actually that was also on a trapeze, come to think of it... Geez. We have a lot of painfully awkward phone calls to place. See you at the clinic!