11 November 2005

Warning: Stay Away from Fifty's Candy Shop

Oh, Fiddy, Fiddy, Fiddy. Can't we all just get along? A cinematoplex in Pittsburgh has pulled Get Rich or Die Tryin' from it's theaters, after a shooting ensued following a screening of Fifty's flick. Three guys got into an argument in the john, and the fight spilled out into the concessions area, where Shelton Flowers was shot fatally. Fiddy went on The View and expressed publicist-scripted regret over the incident, but added "You know, these weren't kids. This was a 30-year-old man [who] had a dispute with three other guys."

There's no indication that the fight had anything to do with Mr. Cent or his movie, but hey, there's no indication that it didn't have everything to do with the Fifty Cent and his movie. After all, 30-year-old adult monkey see, 30-year-old adult monkey buy Twizzlers, peepee, get into argument and then shoot Shelton Flowers at the movies, as they say.

Not to be insensitive, but it's sort of hard to ignore that a guy named "Shelton Flowers" being killed in a crowded movie house is extremely theatrical, in itself. We can only dare to dream what a thrilling denouement it would make in an MTV hip-hopera, with all parts voiced and possibly even played by R. Kelly. He has, after all, proven his acting chops in all nine chapters of the "Trapped in the Closet" video saga.

Oh, fuck sensitivity! Let's make this project happen. It's gold, we tell you! Solid gold!

1 comment:

london cokehead said...

Ha ... Get a front row seat , or die tryin !!

Nice ..

" Well , I was just out on a date with my girlfriend , when up jumped the usherette and popped a cap in ones ass, thrilling , I'll say " .