26 October 2005

Hollywood Sucks, Part 934,659

Why do we even bother to get out of bed each morning, when we know we're bound to read about something that is completely maddening? The bullshit du jour is yet another reality show. What makes this one noteworthy enough for an LTNA post, you ask? The answer to that query is the show's title: America's Next Muppet.

That's right. After Disney pillaged the rights to Jim Henson's delightful mop + puppet characters (that is what "muppet" means, right?)-- that is, as soon as his corpse was cold enough for it to be deemed acceptable etiquette, they set into motion several plans to bastardize the franchise. This is merely the latest tack, wherein they'll add a new character to the mix, through a reality show along the lines of American Idol. We guess Who Wants to Marry a Million Sex Offenders? didn't go over too well at the pitch.

So, while Disney is busy tarnishing our once fond memories of the muppets' adventures in Manhattan and other locales by creating an inevitably unlikeable character, we'll be researching recipes for homemade napalm. It's the only way they'll learn.

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