11 October 2005

Must Love Crap Movies, The Prequel: When Hackneyed Met Lame

Why not follow up one post about the shittiness of Hollywood with another? With the news that the James Bond movie franchise producers have likely found their new 007, came news from the folks over at the Austin Powers franchise. Namely, they want to rush into production to make a fourth film to coincide with the release of the new Bond film next year. And as we all know, "rushed into production" is definitely a phrase associated with every truly great film immortalized on AFI's top 100. But wait, there's more.

Mike Meyers-- you know, the guy who actually plays Austin Powers, is probably not going to be in it. Neither will Michael York, who plays Basil Exposition. (In case you haven't seen any of the flicks, this is kind of a big deal.) Bearing in mind how much the two sequels to the original sucked even with these key players on board, we have to say this film can only end up one of two ways: total shite. Was that only one way? Well, we never were good at math.

Top this off with the fact that Seth Green (who we have adored since Airborne, so don't get us wrong) is probably going to star in the film, playing a young Dr. Evil-- i.e. doing his best impression of Mike Meyers doing Dr. Evil. So, what we have in the works here is a sequel-turned-prequel born from the original movie's stars' refusal to participate in the project. This is what we in the biz like to call "movie magic."

In the meantime, we're off to the bodega to stock up on King Cobra for the next 52 or so Saturday nights. And Push-Pops. They better not be out of red this time. Purple sucks.


Davis said...


A Mike Meyers film sans Mike Meyers. Ahh, Hollywood.

Marcia said...

Like Dumb and Dumberer. Only Dumbererer.