03 October 2005

Hollywood Sucks, Part 934,658

We've been hearing for some time that the priapism-afflicted meth-fiend Tom Sizemore is "in talks" to get his own VH1 reality show, Super Sizemore. Today's Page Six, however, is saying that VH1 is also doing lunch with Robert "The White OJ" Blake's people, to develop a show for the recently-acquitted actor, who is now undergoing a civil trial brought on by his murdered wife's family. Unfortunately, the title Kill Reality was already taken by some bullshit show on E!

We can't wait to see these shows, as a girlfriend-beater and a potential murderer, respectively, take us along the wild ride that is their daily lives, wherein horrific situations are rendered inappropriately hilarious by the melifluous tones of Snow Patrol paired with impecably-placed zany sound effects rivaled only by those of The Richard Bey Show. Run-on sentences! Weeeeeee!

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