11 October 2005

Must Love Crap Movies

A consumer testing service has made an important discovery as to why this summer's box office was such a disaster: Men aged 13 to 24 aren't down with paying ten bucks to see shitty movies starring Reese Witherspoon. Who knew?! All this time we thought that we were being "weird" or "exhibiting addictive tendencies" when we found we favored staying home and watching Lebowski for the 80th time with a tall, cold OE. We've yet to find a better way to spend a Saturday night without spending more than $2.75.

Nevertheless, we're glad that our instincts fall in line with the fellas', and we're even more glad that a study had to be done for people to realize that the box office numbers' decline have a direct relationship to the quality of the movies Hollywood is shitting out. More irksome is that these two figures have an inverse relationship to the price of movie tickets. For the price of just one ticket to one of this summer's gems like The Dukes of Hazzard, for example (and you already know how we feel about this movie), we could instead buy three 40s and a pack of Now and Laters. It's pretty clear here which is the better choice. (Hint: In this scenario-- and any other for that matter, the better choice is always the one where you end up drunk.)

No comments: