Jesus Christ. We're beginning to think that with Freddy Prinze Jr., Madonna and now, Nicholas Cage saying extremely dumb shit all the time, we're going to have to make "[insert celebrity] Is a Fucking Idiot" a regular column.
You may have already known that Nic named his son Kal-El, after Superman. (And if you didn't know, yes, we're being completely serious.) We're not even going to get into that matter in and of itself, as the Gwyneth Paltrows and Jason Lees have proven famous people have no sense of what are suitable-- or at least marginally unretarded names for their children. What we find especially unbelievable is how much more asinine this story gets when you actually get to hear Cage explain his reasoning, in his own words:
"Alice and I wanted to have a name that was exotic and American and which stood for something good, because our son is exotic and he's American and we both think he's good. [...] But having said that, I always liked the sound of the name. It has kind of a magical ring to it: Abracadabra Kal-El Shazam!"
We... we're at a loss. Can't... come up... with sardonic remark... Such profound stupidity... like kryptonite to our normally robust sarcasm! We're going to have to crawl under the desk and rock ourselves in the fetal position for a few hours to regroup... "A MAGICAL RING TO IT"?! "ABRACADABRA KAL-EL SHAZAM"?!
(Deep breaths... eyelid twitching... more deep breaths...)
Okay, okay. If we keep looking at that quotation we're going to have a serious freak-out in our office and punch the first person with caterpillar eyebrows and a receding hairline in the neck. Ta, for now.
[Source: Contact Music via The Superficial]
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