29 September 2005

The "David Dinkens" Phone, Indeed

We know you're accustomed to a little thumbnail with each post to make the page look a little better (although, not much better), but Blogger is fucking up right now, and we don't feel like waiting for it to fix itself just to upload some blurry picture we stole from another site. We're going commando on this one.

Evidently, there's a bit of a Rokr soap opera going on behind the scenes, wherein Motorola and Apple aren't as chummy as the new Motorola/ iTunes partnership would lead one to believe. See, whathadhappenedwas, Apple's been pissed at Motorola for being, well, kind of a shitty brand for a long time. Motorola was supposed to have the Rokr, or at least some manifestation of a music phone, ready by the summer of this year. That didn't happen, and once the phone came out, it kind of sucked, leaving Apple all like, "DubTF?" So, just to be snarky-- at least, that's what a lot of people are saying, Apple upstaged the Rokr by unveiling the Nano the same day. Obviously, this move totally eclipsed the significance of Motorola's tardy (and lousy) Rokr.

So after all this tension has been building for months between the two companies, Motorola's Ed Zandaer was quoted Friday saying, "Screw the Nano. What the hell does the Nano do? Who listens to 1,000 songs?" We're not really sure what this lame attack means, especially since the Rokr holds a mere 100, raising the more poignant question "Who the hell listens to 100 songs?" Therefore, might we suggest that someone get Mr. Zandaer a copy of Snaps for x-mas, so he will be better equipped to handle these sort of public embarrassments more aptly. We can all agree that a much more cutting retort would have been "Apple mama so fat she got more nooks and crannies than a Thomas' English Muffin! Snap!" Or the classic, "Apple mama so stupid she thought Grape Nuts was an STD!"

You get the idea. The point of all this is, Motorola sucks.

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