16 September 2005

Give Me Your Hungry, Your Sexually Deviant, Your Perverted...

Look, we're feeling sick today, okay? We weren't going to post at all after hugging the porcelain shrine in the bathroom at work this morning (thank God for private stalls), but we've managed to pull ourselves together. For you. We just wuv you thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis much!

The Smoking Gun has obtained a copy of the Hooters Employee Standards Handbook which, in truth, is kind of amusing. And apparently, according to their strict codes, it is NOT okay if your waitress has her ass cheeks hanging out of her shorts. Ass cleavage is too smutty even for a restaurant whose gourmet menu item is hot wings. On the other hand, if your rogue waitress does give you some extra buns after dropping off your burger, you're totally allowed to catcall and make any other remarks that would be considered "rude" or "lecherous" on the outside. That's right folks, just because you're a "married man" or "convicted rapist" doesn't mean you can't still get your rocks off. Hooters will accommodate.

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