12 September 2005

Were You Still Freaking out a Bit?

Because we owe you at least one more post today (in case you hadn't noticed, on days when news is painfully slow/ days we're lazier than usual, we find it difficult even to adhere to our extremely easy unspoken rubric mandating a mere two posts per day), here you go.

New shit has come to light, man. The power outages in L.A. that occurred this afternoon were not the result of a poorly costumed Orange County man masquerading as a terrorist, as last night's 10 o'clock news tried to scare you into believing. No, some fuckwads at the L.A. DWP in Burbank screwed up, and that's why things were momentarily inconvenient from the Valley all the way to Downtown L.A., earlier today. Rest assured, if a real terrorist attack comes, it won't be something to which Fox 11 ("Just you watch!") will be privy in advance. And, you can pretty much forget about them having taped "evidence" too, because if they're not even going to interrupt Family Guy to tell you about it, they're clearly calling bullshit on themselves, and trying to trick the less cynical into watching their crappy news in the next hour.

Wait, that's not very comforting, is it? Erm, well, you can always move somewhere that no one-- especially a fake or real terrorist, cares about. You know, like Canada. Zing!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I pretty much shit my pants when my computer went off, the lights went out and my coworker walked out of his office saying "They were just reporting on the radio, before it died, that the power is out across the city."

Whoever cut the line that caused all of this needs to be found so I can shake the shit out of him.

-- Rick