19 September 2005

Will There Be an Awesome Car Chase Afterward?

A doctor in Cleveland is interviewing volunteer candidates to attempt the world's first ever face transplant surgery. We shit you not. We realize that you can pretty much throw a rock in Cleveland and hit a prime candidate for a face transplant (BUUUURN!), but for a procedure as insanely dangerous as this, it's kind of surprising that there are people lining up for it.

The doctor in charge of this whole, um, operation really intends to develop the procedure for victims of disfiguring accidents-- like being from Cleveland (DOUBLE BURN!). She wants to help those who would otherwise never have a chance to look natural and normal. So yes, the obvious solution is to sew on some cadaver's face.

Well, on the slim chance this doesn't end in total disaster, this certainly will make things much easier next time we decide to rob a liquor store. We just have to remember not to ask for "the Todd Bridges."

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