14 September 2005

Paris Screws Unnamed Teen

You undoubtedly remember when Paris Hilton's Sidekick was hacked a few months ago, and her rolodex was posted on the internets-- along with some revealing pictures which further solidified her reputation as a slut-bag whore. Well, the kid who hacked into her phone, whom we'll just call "Zero Cool" for now, has been sentenced to 11 months in juvie, after pleading guilty to the charges. Even after all that, he still has two years of probation where's he's not allowed access to any technology which would give him to access the internet.

To us, this seems like a steep punishment, since all he really did was give Paris Hilton more undeserved publicity, and put some pictures on the web of her tits-- which everyone has already seen anyway. In the meantime though, we're going to set to work acquiring his life story rights and adapting it into a sequel to Hackers. We've already worked out a cameo with Angelina!

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