18 August 2005

Catholicism Faces Competition in Siring Drunks*

Some Japanese company is making beer for kids. It's non-alcoholic, though. So basically, it's O'Douls, which blows. The reasoning behind "Kidsbeer": "Even kids cannot stand life unless they have a drink," says the company slogan.

It seems to us that giving Timmy some bullshit non-alcoholic beer is only going to exacerbate the situation. That 9 year-old is a mean drunk, and he will cut you if you fuck around with his Schlitz. Another news flash-- those weren't Pixie Sticks he was snorting in the bathroom at Koi.

[*We know this is the third slam against Catholics within the last two weeks. We can't help ourselves. It's just so easy! Kind of like beating up a retard, and then taking his Lil' Debbie snack and Capri Sun that one time in third grade. Not that we've done that.]

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