15 August 2005

Vaughn Addicted to One-Night Stands, Pie

The less-sexy pseudo-couple by-product (day-um, that's a lot of hyphens!) of the Anniston v. Pitt divorce proceedings is issuing a fresh batch of denials. The ones from last week were starting to get kind of stale, after all.

Vince Vaughn is claiming that there's no way he could be in a serious relationship with Jennifer Anniston, with whom he is co-starring in The Break-Up. (We'll spare you any hackneyed jokes pointing out how obviously apt this film's title is, with regard to its lead actress.) Vaughn says he cannot be a one-woman man, and has "never been big on having to go home with the same girl every night." Maybe V-Squared should give Tommy Size a call sometime. They should party.

This rumor refutal is all well and good, but Vin needs to come clean and shout from the mountaintops that he has only one true love, and no woman can ever hope to overshadow it. And that 35-year-long love affair is for one thing, stoked by his passion which burns with the intensity of a thousand suns: cake. Time to face your demons and embrace your passions, you sweaty, bloated dumpling.

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